I’m Hazel James, a thirtyish woman in Chicago, originally from another state in the Midwest. (Doesn’t “Hazel” sound British or Southern? I’m neither.) I’m a writer (obviously) but don’t want to talk about what other employment I might have, or my hobbies and interests.
I wanted to blog freely about things I’m passionate about, like sex-positive culture (in Chicago and elsewhere). And it’s easier to do with a fake name. My real-life friends and acquaintances will know who I am; I’d rather my family and random strangers don’t.
Major interests:
Feminism, sex-positive culture: I’ve read literally 100s of books on these topics and try to promote these values in real life
Polyamory: I’ve had a little experience with it (though it’s hard to get even one person at a time interested in me)
Sex education: I did some activism around that in Chicago
Reproductive justice: I’m a nulligravida (look it up!) but care deeply about the right to have or not have children
Adoption issues: that’s a difficult story in my family (by “difficult” I mean “so tragic, I should talk to a therapist before ranting on the Internet”)
Sexual health: see below
But most of all, I want to describe my own complicated path toward a happy, exciting sex and love life (when I get one). To be blunt, I’m someone who’d be pretty active/adventurous if it weren’t for the fact that:
1) I was a late bloomer in dating/sex (for some things, very very late)
2) I’m shy
3) I’ve got a baffling medical condition (vulvodynia/vestibulitis), making some common sexual activities quite painful
I’m hardly the only one out here discussing my attempts at catching up from being a late bloomer. But so far there’s only a handful of blogs dealing with vulvodynia (as opposed to countless sites about infertility or eating disorders or depression). And though I know Chicagoans who blog a bit about sex (including their personal lives), I haven’t really found Chicago sex bloggers.
This sounds a bit dry–I hope to develop a voice here that’s actually entertaining. In the past, I’ve wrung humor from fun topics like self-injury and depression, so maybe my broken vagina* and constantly thwarted attempts at sluttiness will be good for laughs too. Maybe.
I’ve had almost entirely straight experiences, but that doesn’t mean I’m entirely straight. If you’re wondering. I don’t plan to write real-life erotica here, but I’ll mention Hot Midwestern Action, if I get any. (When I Googled “Hot Midwestern Action,” no one on the Internet had ever used that phrase! Do I “own” it?)
Why “Almost Touching“? It’s not embarrassing to say out loud (any title containing, say, “sex nerd” would be, although I certainly consider myself a sex nerd), it’s near the top of the alphabet, and it has numerous shades of meaning (physical, emotional).
Thanks for reading!
*I’ll assume you know that’s not a medically accurate term
Thank you for the link. I am glad that I am finally getting through the feminists of our country. I read on the NOW website that women should have the choice whether or not to have sex. I also read that they should have the choice whether or not to be pregnant. My concern is what about the women who go through the pregnancy to have the choice of raising their children without interference from their government and the social work entities that want that child for a profit. That should be a concern for the women’s movement. We have forces that are working against us that want us to feel shame over being poor and single. They want us to feel shame for wanting to enjoy sex. They want to continue to blame us when it takes two to raise a child. Thanks again for the link. I may put a category up for the feminist leaders that get it. I would add you as the top of my list in that category.